Hosea's Heart

God sometimes asks a lot. Hosea was asked to marry a harlot; did he know what his life would become? He had no ten-year-plan, no pre-nuptial contract, no insurance from the Lord that she would ever love him. I wonder what Hosea's hopes were before the Lord spoke, and whether he felt them abandon him. Did he hope for a family, a house with a balcony, the peace of knowing his wife thought he was precious? Did he hope to be respected in his home and his community, did he want to be known as a man of honor? A man who loved God? A man loved by God?

I don't know. I know Hosea was human, and I know his story reflects the powerful love of the Savior for a wandering Israel. And I know that into the middle of his own plans and hopes came the voice of the Lord: go and marry a harlot. Was it a bomb planted in his heart that exploded when she left him the first time? Or was it like landmines planted in his soul, one setting another off? Just because he obeyed God doesn't mean it was easy. I wonder if he wondered what I have wondered: what has (s)he made me? Now where do I stand, and how is my foundation shaken?

And yet he stayed, and yet he bought her back. Paid dearly for her, over and over, as though she was his very heart cut from his side. Regardless of the pity and the scornful looks of those around him, he redeemed her at his own cost, and brought her back into a safe place. He gave her a part of his life, a life of integrity and faithfulness and wholeness -

Why did she wander? How could she wander? How could Gomer leave him – what could the world possibly offer that would be greater than her husband? And yet she did, and yet Israel does, and yet I do.

And sometimes He asks a lot of me, and sometimes I fail or falter; sometimes I hide for days, wandering the roads of my own selfishness as He tirelessly walks with me, leaves directions for me to get home, until the Divine stalking gets the better of me and I come into the open to talk with Him, this sweet Savior who buys my heart back over and over.

Sometimes He asks a lot. Sometimes the consequences of obedience are painful. Sometimes He frightens me with the intensity of His justice and love. But He is always ready to redeem me at even the highest price; and when I play Hosea instead of the harlot, He is always there to be the strength in my heart and the breath in my lungs.

"Simply to the cross I cling
Letting go of all earthly things
I'm clinging to the cross.
Mercy's found a way for me
Hope is here as I am free
Jesus You are all I need
I'm clinging to the cross"
- Bethany Dillon/Matt Hammitt